The Redskin Report

An epidemic has swept over the Redskin fan base this weekend.

It has hit some fans harder than others, but it’s clear that nearly all of us have been impacted by this devastating illness. Although the medical community has yet to weigh in with an official name for this bug, it’s clearly been caused by the Redskins inactivity in the 2008 Free Agent market. As such we will call it off-season drama withdrawal or OSDW.

Signs you have been stricken with OSDW:

• Your mouse clicking finger is developing calluses from flipping through all of your Washington Redskins related websites you have bookmarked.
• You have an argument with friends over whether or not the team should sign Will Demps.
• You start message board posts contemplating if the Redskins should trade two 1st round picks for a guy who’s one DUI away from spending a lot of time in jail (Jared Allen).
• You’re jealous of the Cleveland Browns who’ve thrown around money and draft picks like crazy these past few days and now don’t have any draft picks in the first three rounds of this year’s draft (and you thought we were bad at giving away draft picks).
• You start a message board topic blaming other Redskins fans for causing all this inactivity and screwing our team.
• You think the Redskins should sign Dante Culpepper so they can land Randy Moss
• You run a Redskins blog and you’re ticked that nothing is happening because you had a great idea to photoshop a picture of the old wrestler The Million Dollar Man and his body guard Virgil with the heads of Dan Snyder and Vinny Cerrato that you aren’t getting to use.

If you find you’ve been inflicted with OSDW, here are some potential treatment options:

• Stage a mock press conference with your friends. Pull out some of your old Little League trophies to play the role of the Redskins Super Bowl trophies and hand one of your many obsolete Redskins jerseys (Bailey? Sanders? – you know you’ve got a few) to one of your friends.
• Think back to all the exciting times we had just a few short weeks ago when the Redskins couldn’t find a coach. All those exciting rumors and incorrect reports bring back fond memories don’t they?
• Look forward to the NFL draft. Just think, this year you’ll be able to spend the entire weekend with legitimate excuses to avoid doing any chores around the house as the Redskins have a full slate of draft picks.
• Remember all those media columns you’ve read explaining the importance of stability on an NFL team. We are about to become the model of stability. Besides Sean Taylor, we could be fielding the exact same starting line-up as last year. Take that New England.

If all else fails… well… I doubt your finger will fall off from all that clicking, so go nuts (especially here, we love the page views). Something is bound to happen sooner or later.