Sure the Redskins have hired a new coach and re-signed a couple of free agents but to me the biggest news of the off-season is that Phillip Daniels is in training to become a strong man.
In our weaker moments we’ve all thought about why NFL teams don’t sign some 7’2″ guy to play wide receiver down on the goalline or find some sumo wrestler to play defensive tackle and stuff the run, but this ranks right up there. From watching a few strong man competitions on TV I assume that Daniels training consists of pulling 18 wheelers down the highway and lifting big rocks up on ledges. How can a offensive tackle handle a guy who can pick up and carry two fridges for 30 meters?
The guy is probably pulling planes around in his free time, can you imagine the bull rush he’s going to lay on Flozell Adams? I am fully expecting 30 sacks. And what about Daniels biggest talent on the football – batting down passes? Assuming his giant log lift is up to snuff, I honestly think Daniels may put out a few QBs with concussions this year just by blocking a pass back in their face.
You may think Daniels is washed up at 35, but Magnus ver Magnusson is 44 and he wins every damn time I see these things on TV so I figure Daniels is just warming up.
To sum up – Phillip Daniels squats 15 kegs full of beer as a warm-up and everyone else in the NFL is officially screwed.